1. Brainstorm Ideas 

Once you’ve decided to write your own vows, start by brainstorming ideas that reflect who you are as individuals and who you are together as a couple. Think about all the moments in life – both happy and challenging – that have shaped your relationship over time and note down any stories or memories that come up for each of you. Visualize how you want the vow exchange moment to look like, feel like, sound like. What do you want your partner to know? What do you want your guests to feel?

2. Start Drafting 

Once you have some ideas written down, it’s time to start drafting! Start by introducing yourself and noting why this person is so special to you (e.g., “I’m standing here today because I’m madly in love with my best friend…”). From there, think about what matters most in your relationship (e.g., trust, communication, etc.) and make sure these themes are woven into the text of the vow itself (e.g., “From day one we promised never to go a day without telling each other ‘I love you'”). Feel free to get creative but remember that less is more when it comes to crafting an effective vow; keep it simple yet sincere! Lastly, make sure not only does the language flow but also that it reflects both of your personalities in some way—it should sound like “you”!

3. Rehearse & Edit

 Once you’ve got something drafted out on paper (or computer), take some time alone or with a trusted friend/family member to rehearse the words out loud until they feel natural coming from your mouth when speaking them aloud on the big day itself! This is also when editing comes into play; word choice matters so focus on using language that conveys exactly what’s inside of your heart as well as making sure everything sounds right when read aloud–nothing too long or drawn out! Double check that spellings are correct too!